being scared of the dark

Paranoia is something I have never dealt with in the past. I was engulfed in a community that surrounded me; the majority of these individuals had opened up to me about their personal experiences with fear based off of 'what ifs' and I never truly understood. All fearful of different everythings. 

Each one said that everything scared them. the possibilities of everything around them anyways. When I tried to resonate, I couldn't. I wasn't scared to go into a certain room, the dark wasn't something that I hated, and I was logical when hearing sounds coming from my old kitchen cabinets creaking or my upstairs neighbor walking around their apartment at 2am because they had to use the restroom. 

When I was 17 I was not scared of anything. I loved turning off the lights and listening to the skeletons in my closet, making room for more.When need be, I comforted my sister or told her to stop being so scared because it's "nothing". I wasn't scared of anything so, it is nothing.

I am 22 now. I am not really sure what happened in those five years of slow, yet exponential, maturity. But part of maturing, for me anyways, was learning that I am scared of a lot of things. I hate hearing sounds in the middle of the night. I double lock my doors as soon as I step in. I lock my car as before I lock my seatbelt. and I am a little scared of the dark. 

My fears are selective though. I can walk the city alone at night, and I like being alone. No one really needs to be there to protect me because one thing I refuse to learn, is that sometimes I can't do 'it' alone. It refers to a long list of things but I don't really feel like listing those just yet.

Maybe in another five years, when I am 27, I will be able to ask someone to help me not be so scared of something so silly like the dark.