my thoughts entering a death cycle

as I come to the beginning of the realization of this monumental death cycle I have entered, a sense of release overcomes me. I am shedding layers of a past self, unlearning some of what has come and ready for it to recycle itself out of my being, forming into a version that cultivates a secure sense of self. I finally feel free in this physical form, ready to show myself the love I search for in the validation from others. I have been exhausting myself looking for love in places that is isn't. Love is everywhere, but love can not be created in platforms stemmed from hate and in the process of searching for reassurance by practicing habits that feed on insecurities. I have finally began building a cocoon of safety and self love, letting it be known that everything I seek for, the love, the comfort, the healing, the abilities of learning and growth, I can provide myself. being patient with this process until I am ready to shed this cocoon and blossom into a version closer to my highest self. I am capable of realizing that trusting other beings is a beautiful and normal thing. assuming the best in others has been looked down on in this society for so long because of the hurt that is highlighted in this world, when truly, we need each other. we are interpersonal. constantly imagining that others will hurt you will manifest itself into a reality that you didn't even want to choose, but you did. I have been practicing staying in my reality, highlighting the best in others, and speaking my admiration when it is due. This has caused me to release the resentment I have formed from unrealistic expectations I placed on others. Being able to note what makes me feel uncomfortable but not letting that feeling form into negative scenarios of my own making. building my tolerance for discomfort because discomfort is not bad, it is simply unpleasant but tolerable. feeling proud of myself for empathetically living, thinking that we are all experiencing a similar form of existence and we sometimes do feel the same way, it is a beautiful thing to feel the same. there is too much pressure to be individualistic, that you are not special if you aren't completely different from others and I truly disagree. there is so much beauty in sharing feelings, experiences, love, sentences, thoughts, and so much more. being introduced to a way of living based on the romanticization of life, celebrating the smallest of things and feeling deeply has saved my life.

I was second guessing on making this publicly because some parts sound cheesy but this is what my journal entries sound like; enjoy this authentic version of my random and romanticized thoughts that I am immensely grateful for.